


Five Things

by oscarwildewannabe



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alexis is a little muffin that just needs a hug, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Non Graphic, Ted is a good guy, Very brief mentions of sexual assult/rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 09:35:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18736405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oscarwildewannabe/pseuds/oscarwildewannabe
Summary: Alexis has a nightmare.





	Five Things

**Author's Note:**

> Reupload. 
> 
> Just a personal little thing about Alexis working through some of the horrible things that have happened in her past. I genuinely don't believe that she could have gone through all the stuff that she says that she's been through and come out the other side unscathed.

Her eyes opened with a start. The room was so dark that she had trouble making out anything at first. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She knew what this was. 

Okay, breath. 

Five. Five things that she could see. She strained her eyes in the dark. 

One. The outline of the mirror on the dresser across from the bed. Two. The faint red light on the smoke alarm on the ceiling. Three. The flowery outline on the curtains. She took a deep breath and turned her head to the side. Four. The faint glow of the numbers on the alarm clock. Five. Ted sleeping next to her. 

She took a deep breath. In through her nose and out through her mouth. Ted sleeping next to her. She could already feel her heart beginning to slow in her chest. She focused on the feeling of the sheets wrapped around her body. They were soft. She hadn’t had sheets there. She could hear Ted breathing in and out rhythmically next to her. There were no gun shots outside. There had always been gun shots outside there. She felt warm. It had been so, so cold there. 

In through her nose and out through her mouth. In through her nose and out through her mouth. 

She was okay, logically she knew that. She was here. In bed in Schitt’s Creek. In Ted’s apartment. Above the vets office. On Walker Street. 

She took another deep breath. Beside her Ted began to stir and she quickly stilled. She didn’t want him to wake up. Didn’t want him to see her like this. She hadn’t talked about this before. Not with any of the old therapists from her other life. Not with her parents. Not with David, and certainly not with any past boyfriends. She wasn’t sure that she wanted to start now. 

Ted moved again in his sleep and blinked wearily at her until his eyes were fully open. 

“Hey,” he whispered hoarsely, “you alright?” She pressed her lips together in a thin line and nodded shakily at him. 

And then he did the one thing that he shouldn’t have done. In retrospect she couldn’t blame him. How was he supposed to know? She should have said no. She should have told him sooner. But she didn’t. And it was all her fault. Again. 

As if in slow motion, she watched Ted reach out his hand to brush it against her cheek. He was trying to be comforting. She knew that. Deep down she did. But her brain was still reeling and there wasn’t nearly enough oxygen going to her brain. So she reacted on instinct. She sat bolt upright and before she knew it she was standing beside the bed holding herself as her body shook. 

“Alexis?” Ted’s voice was full of concern, and any chance that she had had of being able to play this off was gone. 

She took a deep breath. “I’m- I’m so sorry Ted…I.. I—” 

And then, before she even knew it she was sobbing. Pure heart wrenching sobs. Tears and snot covered her face and she was having trouble breathing. 

Ted was sitting up in bed now looking absolutely shell shocked. This was it; he was going to be done with her. She was too much for him, she had made too many mistakes. She should have told him. But he was just so good, and so nice. He deserved someone better than her. Someone less damaged. Someone who was nicer. Someone who- 

“Alexis” He was saying her name, and she looked up at him her wet lashes. 

“Lexi” he said again slowly, “Lexi what’s going on? What can I do?” 

Lexi. He had started calling her that after they first got back together. She liked it. All her other boyfriends called her Lex. They thought it was sexy and fun. Just like her. But Lexi. Lexi was sweet and nice, cute even. 

She took a deep breath. Five things. The mirror, the smoke detector, the curtains, the clock, Ted. Ted. 

Carefully she removed her hands from around her stomach where she had been gripping herself so tight there were bound to be little marks on her ribs from her nails. She wiped at her cheeks trying to rid herself of all of the tears even though they continued to flow from her eyes hot and fast. She took her deep breath. In and out. She could do this. It was okay. It was quiet, it was warm, it was soft. 

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered, “I’m sorry”

Ted nodded at her, the fear in his eyes hadn’t completely gone away but it looked like it was starting to abate a little. 

“What can I do?” he asked 

Alexis took another deep breath. She was trying to remember her plan. 

“Can you get me some water please?” she whispered 

Ted nodded, and practically jumped out of their bed to the kitchen and went down the hall to the kitchen. Alexis took another deep breath. She eased herself back into the bed, pulling the sheets and blankets up around her.  
Ted was back in just a few moments carrying a glass of water with him. He carefully set it on the table beside her. He didn’t make to get back into bed, instead he took a step back and leaned against the window sill. 

Alexis reached out and took the glass with both hands. Her hands were shaking just a bit, and when the cold water hit the back of her throat it felt like a small shock to her system. But it felt good. It helped to ground her. 

“Lexi are you okay?” Ted asked again, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” 

Alexis looked down at the cup in her hands and nodded. 

“Alright,” Ted said quietly, “I’m gonna uh, go sleep on the couch okay?” 

Alexis’ head shot up. Her heart was suddenly so full of love for the man in front of her that she didn’t know what to do. 

“You- you don’t have to do that.” She said. Her voice didn’t really sound like her own. It felt more like she was listening to herself speak than she was actually speaking. 

“Oh uh—it’s just you jumped so bad when I tried to touch you I thought maybe you just might need some space?” Ted’s eyebrows were knitted together, “I didn’t want to trigger you again. I’m- I’m assuming that’s what happened?” 

God she loved this man so much. Alexis nodded slowly and took a deep breath. 

“Sometimes I get bad dreams,” she said slowly, focused again on the glass still clutched in her hands, “memories. From when I would get into bad situations. Most of them were fine, but there was this one that—” 

She stopped and chanced a look at Ted. He was looking at her with his face all scrunched up in concern. 

“I was nineteen, we were in Venezuela…” 

“You don’t have to tell me,” Ted said suddenly, “not if you don’t want to.” 

Alexis nodded, and gave a small smile. “I do though.” She took a deep breath and continued, “it was me and some other girls. We went down to Caracas to party. We met up with some guys. They seemed nice. But then we tried to leave and they…they wouldn’t let us. They pushed us into their cars and drove out into the country. To this, this little shack out in the middle of nowhere.” 

Deep breath. 

“They tied us up. And, and when we tried to scream they hit us with the buts of their guns. That’s where that little scar on my eyebrow comes from. I tried to talk back to one of the leaders.” 

She smiled ruefully and she heard Ted take a sharp intake of breath but she pressed on, “There were other girls there too. Some of them were really young. Like really young. Little girls. They were covered in bruises and had their clothes were all ratty and torn. Sometimes one of the men would come in and take one of them into another room. They didn’t even fight back. But when they came back they’d cry for hours.” 

A memory of one little girl curled in on her side sobbing flashed behind Alexis’ eyes and she shook her head to try and clear it. 

“On the second night we were there,” she said quietly, “One of the men came in and tried to grab at me. He pulled me into a room with a bed and pushed me down onto it. He ripped my dress. And- and he touched me. And I was so, so scared. I was so tired and so weak I couldn’t fight him off. The cops said that they had been drugging us. Putting things in the water.”  
And when I did he put his gun up against my stomach. I don’t speak Spanish but I didn’t need to get the picture ya know?” 

She sighed, “I don’t know what would have happened next. He probably would have tried to rape me. But then the cops burst in and everyone was screaming and shouting and there were guns and—” 

She broke off. Deep breath. In and out. 

“I don’t remember much else. I woke up in the hospital and came back the next day.” She said quietly, “I never told anyone. I was too embarrassed.” 

She looked up at Ted. His face was white, and his mouth was set in a dark line. He looked angry. 

“I’m sorry I never told you.” She said quietly. 

She heard Ted take a deep breath. 

“Lexi—” he whispered, and she looked up at him again, the anger was gone and it looked like he might even cry, “I am so, so sorry that that happened to you. You don’t have to apologize to me. Not for that. Not ever.”

Alexis nodded. Ted took a step closer as if to reach out to her but seemed to realize better halfway through. 

“Thank you for telling me.” He said finally, his voice sounded strained. “I know that was a lot of you.” 

Alexis nodded back to the glass. She didn’t like talking about it. And she liked talking about it even less. But a part of her did have to admit that it felt nice for someone else to know. Someone she loved. Someone who she knew would never, never, touch her like that man had. 

“Can we just go back to sleep?” she asked quietly. 

She was so, so tired. Her body felt like it did after she had just been on a long run. 

Ted nodded, “Do you want me to go sleep on the couch? I really don’t mind. Whatever you need.” 

Alexis smiled. She really, really loved this man. None of her other boyfriends from her past life would have offered to sleep on the couch for her. But Ted, Ted did it without question. Without even being asked. It made her chest feel warm. 

She shook her head. “No I want you here. I—I need you here.” She set the glass back on the side table and shifted in the bed so that he had room to climb in next to her. 

He looked at her hesitantly, “are you sure?” 

She nodded. “Can you just hold me?” 

He nodded. Quietly he climbed into the bed next to her and gently pulled her into his chest. His arms wrapped around her body he tucked his chin on top of her head, letting her bury her face into his chest. She breathed in the scent of his cologne and felt her fingers fist into the material of his t-shirt. 

Deep breaths. 

“I got you.” He whispered, “you’re safe.” He pressed a kiss to her head. 

She took another deep breath. Five things. Five things to focus on. Five things to ground her in the reality of where she was. 

One. Ted’s arms around her. Two. The feeling of Ted’s heartbeat against her cheek. Three. The material of Ted’s t-shirt squeezed between her fingers. Four. The sound of Ted’s breathing in her ear. Five. Ted. 

“I know.” 

She fell asleep like that. And several hours she woke up like that as well. She knew she was safe. As long as she could wake up like this every morning, whatever happened during the night was manageable. 

Five things. She was loved. She was loved. She was loved. She was loved. She was loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on tumblr: oscarwildewannabe


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